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Interview - Zulu Red (Click on any picture to enlarge it)
We recently caught up with Zulu Red from the Goodfellaz at a local nightclub that he was MCing at. We had to find a quiet spot to conduct the interview so we settled for some cinder blocks in the parking lot in front of the club. Alex: How’s it goin? Red: Chillin! Alex: So tell us how you got the name Zulu Red? Red: It started in Junior High. I grew up in the ghetto. I went to an all black school and I was the only Rican that rolled with the blacks. It started as Red Bone. Red is my favorite color so then it became just Red. Later I linked up with the Universal Zulu Nation (not the gang) and that’s when it changed to Zulu Red. Red: (while Alex is writing Red’s answer on the paper) you need a tape recorder. Alex: We’re on a limited budget. Red: Broke ass mother-fuckers. Alex: Right, so uh, how’d you get into MCing? Red: I’m naturally a loud-mouth outgoing Mother-Fucker. It just seemed natural. The first time I got on a mic was when I was 15. My baby’s uncle, DJ Coupe Deville handed me the mic at a club that he was spinnin at. Alex: Where are you from? Red: I was born in Miami. I moved to the Bronx when I was 3. I moved back to Miami when I was 13 cause I wasn’t makin nothing of myself in New York. I was a knucklehead. A wanna-be thug.
Alex: What are your goals in life? Red: To own my own club and to live long enough to see my kids grow up and be successful. Alex: How many do you have? Red: Of what? Alex: uhm, kids. Red: Oh! Alex: You alright? Red: Yea man this fuckin Hennessy is kickin in. (just then Red starts diggin in his pocket) Alex: (nervously) Uh, what’re you doin there? (Red pulls a bottle of Hennessy from his pocket and pours it into his cup) Red: (extends bottle in Alex’s direction) Alex: No thanks! I’m a Boone’s kinda guy.
Alex: So uh, how many kids do you have? Red: 2, my daughter Hennessy is 2 and my boy Little Red is 1. Alex: I take it that Hennessy is your favorite drink. Red: Ya think Sherlock? Alex: Right! So, how many tatts do you have? Red: (after a few moments of counting) 13. (DJ Elev8 from Goodfellaz walks over, grabs a cinder block and sits with us) Elev8: Zulu Red’s a homo! Red: (Shrugs and throws his lit Newport in Elev8’s direction) Elev8: What’s wrong with you? You trying to burn the city down? (grabs cigarette and puts it out) Red: You tree-huggin squirrel-fucker! Alex: When did you lose your virginity? Red: At my 10 year old birthday party. They pushed my head into the cake and I got all pissed off and went and showered. When I got out, the girl from across the street was in the bathroom butt-boonky-ass naked. Alex: What’s the most girls you’ve had at one time? Elev8: (Holds up 2 fingers) Red: Mother-fucker who’s interview is this? 2. Alex: Where’s the craziest place you ever got busy? Red: Well I did it in a Burger King bathroom as a tribute to Digital Underground. But the craziest was in the middle of a street in Broward. On the white lines while cars were going by. Elev8: Damn Dawg you couldn’t find a dumpster? Red: Spontaneity Bitch!
Alex: What was your most embarrassing moment? Red: Never! I don’t get embarrassed. Elev8: Bullshit! Red: I couldn’t give a fuck about what people think. Elev8: You trying to say you never even been close to embarrassed? Red: I don’t know these mother-fuckers. (points to people standing in line to get in) I don’t give a fuck about the public’s perception of me. Alex: Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Communist Party? Red: (Looks baffled and turns to Elev8 and just points towards me) Alex: That’s just a standard question. Never mind. This question is for our female readers- Boxers or briefs? Red: Depends. Alex: Depends? Do you have a bladder problem? Elev8: Ha-ha you shit yourself! (pointing at Red) Red: (flicks both of us off) in a club I do a lot of bouncing around so I wear briefs. At home I’m usually naked or if anything I’ll wear some boxers.
Alex: Are you single at the moment? Red: No! Alex: Describe your perfect woman. Red: I don’t know. I haven’t met her yet. Alex: I’m sure your current girl will love that answer. Red: Who gives a fuck? Elev8: I don’t! Alex: Did you cry when Bambi’s mother got shot? Red: (loudly) yes! Elev8: I did. That’s fucked up. Alex: If I was to have sex with what I thought was a woman and half way through I realized it was a man but I finished anyway, would that make me gay? Red: (laughing hysterically) we was at VooDoo one night and a person who will remain nameless, for personal safety reasons, well we convinced him that a she-he was a woman. He was talking to him/her for half the night, holding hands with it and everything. When we told him it was a man he threw up 5 times. Alex: 5 times? Wow! Did he kiss him/her? Red: Rumor has it that he did not (winks) Alex: Wanna give any shoot-outs? Red: Goodfellaz. Alex, Tommy and Chris from BrowardHotSpots (we have no idea who Chris is). The Professionals, my kids, their mother, that puss filled yeast infected evil bitch, fuck you! Elev8: He’s going to print that. Red: Do I look like I give a shit? To Zulu Nation Miami Chapter and to all you haters out there keep hating, fuck you bastards! Alex: Rumor has it that back in the day you used to party with Menudo, any truth in that? Red: The truth must come out, yes! I was in fact the 12th member of Menudo. I was kicked out a week later when I reached puberty. (Elev8’s cell phone rings and he walks off) Alex: Who are your inspirations? Red: My mom, my grandma and all the MC’s keeping it real. Alex: Do you believe that TuPac is dead? Red: No! (At that exact moment coincidentally, TuPacs Me and my girlfriend remix by Jay-Z came on) Red: See Nigga? That’s a sign. Alex: Can Me and Tommy roll with your crew? Red: Definitely! You Mother-fuckers have been in the club scene longer than I have. Alex: What’s the best song to get a girl in the mood? Red: There’s a few. H-Town’s Knockin the boots. Keith Sweats Make it last forever. Jodeci’s Forever my lady and definitely Barry White Secret garden. (Elev8 comes back) Elev8: Yo man you gotta get inside and announce the act. Red: You go do it. I’m in the middle of an interview. Elev8: Mother-fucker that’s your job. Red: (gives Elev8 a look and mumbles something under his breath then turns back to me) next question. Alex: Were you upset when they sent Elian back? Red: Hell no! Fuck that shit! Alex: If you were to go on American Idol what would your talent be? Red: Being an Asshole on the mic. Elev8: That’s a stretch. Red: You know I’m the nigga you love to hate! Alex: If I went on there I’d wear a straight jacket and masturbate while drinking a glass of milk. (Red and Elev8 look at each other. They both stand up and walk away without saying a word) Alex: I guess that concludes this interview.
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