95south.com

Questions & Answers

I'm moving to Miami in a few weeks and I'm going to need to find a job. Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Coontz from Ohio

Yes! Learn Spanish. You can't get a job at a McDonald's in Miami if you don't know Spanish. It really pisses me off cause the majority of the people in Miami look at you like you're the asshole for not knowing Spanish.

A few years ago a bill was proposed to make English the official language in Florida. These people went nuts. They started picketing and protesting and bitchin up a storm (not that I could understand what the fuck they were saying) But they succeeded in getting the bill squashed. If they would put that kind of effort into learning English I wouldn't be writing this right now.

When my parents came to this country they didn't speak any English and instead of them forcing Greek on everyone they spoke with, they learned to speak the language of the country that they moved to.

I think it's not only ridiculous but extremely arrogant that these people refuse to even attempt to learn English and expect the other Americans living in America to cater to them.

Don't get me wrong I'm not directing this solely to Spanish people. They're just the ones I'm most familiar with. This is directed to everyone who comes to this country and refuses to learn English.

I'd like to propose a new bill to Congress. It's pretty simple and to the point. No English = no green card. It should be mandatory that all immigrants looking for residence and occupation in this country should have to take a course to learn English.

Oh and bring back the bill to make English the official language. I can't believe it isn't already. Good luck with the move, Chulo.

When you use a restroom in a club do you have to tip the attendant every time you go?

Also can I rub Alex's head?

Jen from Boca

Jen it is proper etiquette to tip the restroom attendant if you wash your hands and they hand you a paper towel or if you use any of their condiments.

Or you could just be like 90% of the guys I see in the bathroom and not wash your hands. These are the same guys who come out and grope you with their unsanitary filthy cock smelling hands. And yes you may rub Alex's heads.

How come you guys don't expand to Miami and cover some South Beach clubs?

Love the site,

Julie in Pines

Its pretty simple Julie- I hate South Beach and everything about it.

First it’s a 30-45 minute drive. You have to go through Miami on I-95. Those fucks can’t speak English yet alone drive properly.

Then when you get there it’s another 30-45 minutes wasted looking for a parking spot. When you finally do find one it’s a 15-25 minute walk away from the club you’re going to. Not to mention the $10-20 you gotta pay to park.

So now you’re all hot and sweaty when you finally do get to the club and it’s a 30 minute wait to get in, that’s if you have girls with you. If you go with a group of guys enjoy the view from the line cause you’ll be in it for at least 2 hours.

Once you get “chosen” to get in its a $10-20 cover. Great now you’re finally in the club and you go to get yourself a drink, $8-12. That’s about 50 bucks you’ve blown already and you’re on your first drink.

Fuck that! I’ll stick to Broward. Where everything's close, everything's reasonably priced and unlike South Beach most of our girls up here don’t have penises.

When I'm with a girl at a club and one of these flower girls asks me if I want to buy my girl a flower is there anyway out of this without looking like a cheap Motherfucker?

Thanks,

Joey from Margate

Hey Joey thanks for writing. I know exactly what you're talking about.

It seems like lately I can’t be at a club talking to a young lady without one of these Flower Cunts rushing up to us and shoving a rose in the girls face.

Her whole goal is to put you in the predicament where if you don’t buy the girl a flower you look like a cheap bastard.

If you’re trying to fuck the girl, err I mean trying to make a good impression, they usually succeed in strong-arming you into buying one.

They rip you off by charging 6-10 bucks per flower. And God forbid the girl chooses a flower with a little stuffed animal attached to it. If that happens then you’re out 12-15 bucks. Not to mention the little bitch expects a tip.

It’s gotten so bad that the other day I’m walking to a club with a young lady and as we go through an alley there’s one of these Flower Cunts on a pay phone.

She spots us and says “hold on” to the person she’s on the phone with and extends a flower in our direction. I mean come on Cunt give us a fuckin break already.

Well Joey I figured out a way to get rid of these bitches without looking like a total cheapskate.

When the Flower Cunt comes up to you fake like you have allergies and scream “AAAHHH! Pollen!! Ahhh-Choo! AHHH-CHOO!! Make her leave! MAKE HER LEAVE!!!” This should work and maybe get you a chuckle out of the girl you’re trying to fuck, err I mean get to know better.

Or you could always mace the bitch, take all her flowers and jewelry for your girl and whatever cash she has on her for yourself.

I go out to a club every Saturday night with my friends. I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 months now and she’s bitchin that I should be bringing her out with me. I don’t want to cause I know all these assholes are gonna step to her and ill end up fighting. How can I get out of bringing her with me without her being mad at me?

Please help me,

Mike from Plantation

I’m afraid there is no simple answer to your question Mike. But I do understand where you’re coming from. It seems that a lot of guys nowadays have no class and even less respect for females or the guys that they’re out with.

On any given night I’ll hear at least 8-10 assholes yell rude comments to girls walking by or use their ridiculous attempts at picking-up that often sound like this “Psssssstttttt, hey girl. Psssstttttt, hey, you with the ass”.

Its dicks like them that make girls act like bitches to the common guy that approaches them in a club. They’re so annoyed from the harassment and the ass grabbing that goes on in the crowds that when a nice guy does approach a girl all her defenses are up.

And it doesn’t do much to deter these walking hard-ons if the girls with a guy. Like I said before, no class and even less respect. There’s a reason these guys are out there without girls.

My suggestion is that you designate at least one night a week that you go out with just your girl to a movie, dinner or a comedy club. And one night a week that you go out clubbing with your friends.

Or if you’re not too pussy whooped and she’s still left you with some semblance of a spine, dump the bitch and go out every night and bang a different slut.

I've been seeing the same girl for almost 2 months now. She wants me to start introducing her as my girlfriend. I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. But I want to continue seeing her. How can I tell her I'm not ready for that without her thinking I don't like her?

Craig from Ft Laud

Craig congratulations on finding someone you like. Two months is longer than some marriages. So basically what you're asking is how can you keep fucking her without having to settle down.

I wish it were that easy but unfortunately women won't allow that. They need to feel assured that you're with them and only them.

That's why they feel its necessary to use labels such as boyfriend and girlfriend. Did you know 86% of people polled have cheated on every partner they've been with for over 6 months,

That means that statistically in the next few months when your girl tells you she's staying home to read, or going to the movies with her girlfriends she's lying.

She's gonna have her legs pinned behind her head like a contortionist, screaming "Fuck me Jose!" Does this sound like the kind of girl you want to introduce to people as your girlfriend?

You seem like a smart guy Craig, do the right thing. Best of luck to you both!