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12 Things that annoy the fuck out of me (Why 12? Cause I fuckin said so)

12. Relationships. Read the rest of this article then go to the Relationships Tirade for details on this one.

11. People who live in America that refuse to learn English.

I can’t even go to Miami without bringing a Spanish to English Dictionary. You’re in America, learn English or go the fuck back home.

This isn’t against Spanish people, this is against anyone who comes to this country and has the arrogance to expect everyone to learn their language to accommodate them.

10. Paparazzi. These people are slime.

It annoys the fuck out of me when I see these scum on TV hounding and videotaping celebrities. What they’re doing is criminal.

How would you feel and react if some prick followed you everywhere you went and videotaped everything you did without your permission? Its called stalking and it’s illegal.

Get a fucking real job and give these damn celebrities a moment’s peace. It should be up to them to decide when they want to be on camera not some assholes that spent $200 at circuit city.

9. Biters/Wanna-bes.

I can’t count how many people we know that have seen our site and then have gone out and bought a digital camera and put together a site with a club listing and thought that they were in business.

The Fort Lauderdale things already being done bitch, be original for a change.

8. Losers that harass every female that walks by in a club.

They grab their arms or say stupid shit and get shot down. Then they turn around and tell the females off. Great tactic fuckface.

This just puts the girls in a shitty mood and on the defensive for the rest of the night. This makes it so much harder for every other guy trying to get laid err, I mean, meet new people.

7. In a club people that order drinks at the bar and then hang out in front of it all night and block the rest of the people that are trying to buy drinks.

Listen carefully people. Order your drinks. Pay for your drinks. Walk the fuck away from the bar with your drinks.

Do not come back to the bar again until your cup is empty and you are ready to repeat the process. It’s pretty fuckin simple.

6. Waiters/waitresses that refuse to write down orders and then fuck up your meal.

You’re a waiter, we’re not gonna think any less of you if you write the fucking order down.

Swallow your fuckin pride and write down that I don’t want tomatoes, cause if you bring me some on my food you’re gonna end up wearing them.

5. Red light swervers.

This happens to me almost everyday. I’ll be driving somewhere and the light in front of me turns red. As I get closer to the light the asshole to the left or right of me has a car in front of him so he swerves in front of me so that he can be first at the light.

Was it worth cutting me off dickface? No, cause by the time we get to the next fuckin light I’ll have passed you and thrown my soda onto your windshield.

4. People that I barely know that ask me to hook them up or drop my name to get into a club.

If I have the ability to hook someone up I will offer to do so. Don’t ask me to and sure as fuck don’t act like I owe it to you cause your ass will be standing in line all fuckin night.

3. People that stare at the menu at McDonalds (or any fast food place) cause they don’t know what they want to order.

I know what the fuck I’m having as soon as I decide I’m going to McDonalds. The menu has one change every 7 years.

2. People that wait till they pull up to the toll booth on the turnpike before they start digging for change.

Have your fuckin quarters out as soon as you hit the off-ramp asshole. Did the toll booth take you by surprise?

Did you think they wouldn’t be there today? No, you fucking knew you had to pay to ride yet you waited till you were at a dead stop before looking for change. Fuck you, die!

1. People who bring children to movie theaters.

If it’s a cartoon or a children’s film that’s one thing, but when I just spent 20 bucks to see The Matrix I don’t want to hear your bastard child screaming through 90% of it.

You want to go to the movies? Fine, get a fuckin sitter? Can’t get a sitter? Don’t go to the fucking movies.

Don’t ruin the experience for the other 40-50 people who spent 5 hours worth of wages just to hear your future convict screaming over Keanu Reeves poor attempts at acting.

If you bring a child to an adult movie you should be castrated with a plastic spork. I fucking hate you!